Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Am Having An Affair With Food

Im having a love affair with food. I went to Ihop today and forgot my phone. So they had to call my parents house and tell them I left my phone. So my moms first question to me was why am I at Ihop. Fuck. I am screwed. I lie and say I had a turkey sandwich. What a lie. I fly home to talk to my mom just to let her know that I was at Ihop with some friends. But I am to late. She is already drunk as a fish. Which means she is not gonna remember me explaining why I was there. She asked me twice already and I explained twice. She figures I am off my "diet" which I am not even on. I basically tell her I am on a diet just so my time here can go smoothly. She then started saying how it sucks that I do not have a job (I don't even live here by the way..) She always thinks I am not going to follow through on my "diet". She claims if I was out with my "old" friend who I use to have, then I would have ate some place healthier. My life felt like a time bomb that very moment. I left Rose's house early just to explain myself. It makes me want to look in the mirror and ask what the fuck am I doing.
Im lying to my mom to make it seem that I am working on my diet. I hate this. Because I am lying. But mostly I hate this because she will honestly never accept the fact that I am fat. I am happy. I am married. I moved out. But yet I am here. I don't know what to do anymore. Im taking a shot tonight because my head is going crazy. I don't get it. Why did I have to get the physical crazy mom from the gutter.
I should totally delete this whole thing because its all me complaining and wanting to get the fuck out of here.....
i hate March .....
fuck u

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