Saturday, March 13, 2010

All Down Hill From Here

My brain is going everywhere. I got an email yesterday about Greg's ship. The officially stated that they will arrive in Hawaii April 7th. Then, they will arrive in California April 13th. So basically, he is on his way home. Wow. I could not even believe it. My head was racing. Now I can hardly sleep. I keep thinking so much. What to wear. Will it be a lot to handle when I get back to Cali. Getting cars out of storage. Turning back on the gas and electric. Getting the house back to normal. There is so much running through my mind. It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. Now it seems as if March is going way to slow but I know it is not. Now that I have an actual date that he is coming home, I feel anxious and a whole bunch of anticipation. Im going to be with my best friend and husband again.
So of course my mind is going crazy. All I can think about is how long March is. I think maybe I am thinking too much. But how can I not. This is the longest we have been away from each other. I had a dream last night that I was in Cali. My brain is so mental right now. March could not even hurry up and be over if it wanted too. I need to make this month go fast, but I don't know how to do that. I guess just live one day at a time and try to think your not seeing that person for a while again. I keep getting giddy about the fact that we can go to the movies again! We can see Remember Me together! We can see all the movies that no one wanted to see with us!. Omg! That is so awesome! I invited Rose to see that movie but it was like pulling teeth. Understandable. Rose has a free pass, she is always with me regardless. So then I asked my ex boyfriend if he wanted to go because he stated to me that day he was "so bored", and he said and I quote "The only way I would see that dumb ass movie is if I was getting ass afterward."
......
..............
Anyway.....like I was saying....
.....
So he did not want to go. But one thing I do know. Greg would. God I can not wit to see him and be with him! Omg! Im so excited! Im gonna buy a whole bunch of used dvds from blockbuster so we can watch stuff we missed before he left. If you cant tell Greg and I are big movie goers and we like checking out things that look good. And Greg said and I quote I do not mind chick flicks. And he is not just saying that to fuck me because the man is married, he gets puss regardless. Greg just has a open mind about things that no one else does. He sees the bigger picture. Greg saw Twilight with me 9 times in theaters last year! 9 Times! And he enjoyed that movie as well. Of course he has a list of movies he said he just cant go see. Like Sex In The City, and Mamma Mia, he refuses. LOL! But other then the select few he wont see, he goes with me anyway.
I rag on distance alot, but, distance makes you appreciate a person more. It does. I still hate distance and all that junk but, it does make you see what you saw when you fell in love with them.

Im gonna focus on life day by day. I can see myself going crazy all over again with thoughts of going home. I am ready. I am just gonna try and live like I did not hear any dates. Im going to try. But this is it. Its all down hill from this. I am looking forward to alot of things with Greg. Movies, being at home with him, waking up to him, hanging out again, watching Lost again. But the one thing I can not wait to happen....the one thing I really want to do....
Its kind of personal.
But I will say it anyway......
I want to put on that John Mayer song I love, and have passionate sex with him. And its not even about the sex. I mean yeah, I can finally get some. But that song, I always listened to that song whenever I was sad and missed Greg. Im sure I talked about his song a million times! It is called "In Your Atmosphere." I even made a video when I first started this blog called "In your Atmosphere" with just pictures of him and that song in the background.
It sounds strange.
But when you listen to a song that reminds you of someone, who is not there with you. It creates this mood and this theme in your head. When I first hear the guitar start to play I immediatly feel I am in Maryland and I miss my husband. When the song is about to end, I cringe because the lyrics are "Where ever you go, where you are, I watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar." And at the very end John Mayer hums until the song is over. And it almost sounds like crying. It sounds like he is crying for that girl to come home to him. I am taken by that song and I am always there visually when I hear it. So to be with Greg face to face, and to "make love" to that song. Would be......would be.....
Omg....
It would be very emotional and breath taking.
So I am looking forward to that, looking over when that song is playing and seeing him. I doubt I will even look away.

2 comments:

  1. Awwwwwww you sound so excited. You are too cute.

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  2. Yay! I am so excited tami! I can not wait!

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