Thursday, March 31, 2011

Leaving Las Vegas: Protecting & Expecting..


I had a planned trip with Rose and now I have to cancel it. Not only that, but I lost a chunk of money in the process. Can we get a refund? No. I am going to call anyway to see if we can, but I remember seeing a nice little small printed sign that said no. The only smart thing was that money was from our taxes, so its not kicking our ass. But lets be honest. No one wants to lose any typw of money over hundred dollars. Greg's job required him to be where they want him to be at all times. This has happened before. To be honest I had a strong feeling this would happen. I found myself trying to get the very best price for Vegas without crossing the 500 dollar range for that trip. Was it because I was being cheap. Naw, it was because I felt if shit does fall apart, it will suck, but not AS bad. And so we did it, we found a trip very very cheap. And of course, it gets canceled.
It was not necessarily not going to Vegas that saddens me. It was the fact I wanted to hang out with my bestie and do things. What people do not know is, its not really WHERE you go. Its the company you keep. You can go to Paris and France if you want, but the company is the icing on the cake. I wanted to hang with her, I really did. Now that I can't, it really sucks. Add that with the money, Im in a pit of sadness. I try and perk up and tell myself "its not that bad", but come on...
Lets be real..

I was drawing so much more, and then when I saw Greg's text about us not being able to go. My pencil fell down. I could not draw right then. What a bummer. After a day or two when this settles, I'll be back on the grind. But it has to download in my head that, being sad and upset is not going to change anything.
The Bright Side Of The Situation:

What bright side? I mean, I was thinking that maybe because of this bummer, something better is coming my way. For both me and Rose. Rose has hopes for other things as do I. Maybe Vegas seems important but is not that important at all. Maybe we can't see the bigger great in whats coming because all we can see is the failure. Or maybe I should say I...

The trip was suppose to be a couples outing. So, maybe this was meant to happen because, Greg and I both been everywhere together... to have vegas under our belts would be just a bonus.
Maybe this is the time for Rose and her "significant other" to bond one on one.. without "married coupled" people tagging along...
Hey man, Im looking for positives...
Im trying..

Im not hurting int he bank. Thats a plus. It was not all out tax money and we are still sitting pretty. It could have came out our actual paycheck. I can make good of the money, but I can't find a reason to make myself feel better about not seeing Rose.

Bottom line is, I have to understand that I got married too someone in the military and moved out of my home. I knew from signing that dotted line that our friendship would be tested with distance and I would not see her every weekend anymore. I thought "Wow, I do not know if i'll see her again, maybe we will grow apart?" Little did I know, it brought us closer, closer to the point where we talk everyday, still. As if I never left Maryland's grounds. But, I feel I still look at our friendship as "down the street" when I should not. I have to realize that I live in California. And she lives in Maryland.
Theres no one like your bestie :)

Im trying to be peaceful. Im still bothered by it. Im gonna mediate on it. Relax and light candles. Hey, it works for me. Try and stay positive and be happy that its not worst than it can be. Gah, I keep thinking about the money. I know its gone (here I go being negative). But Its hard not to be. Its hard not to be mad. But it sucks because there is no point. At least it was not that much. I gotta keep telling myself that. We got the cheapest package ever...
*rolls eyes & rubs face*
Bottom line.

Things happen for a reason.
Im not sure what this reason is? But It happened.
Im gonna try my best and stay positive and happy. Bigger things are happening for both me and Rose. Life is still spinning. Life does not stop, it keeps going. I should be happy. Im going to draw, and get my mind right. Stay strong, and realize shit happens. Thats life. There is so much more going on that is bigger than me...
and by the way, Im pregnant.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Art Junk Only: Skatedecks & Cupids Love...

The art bug has finally bit me once again. Inspiration, welcome home.
Jackie, Im back in business again.

Hopefully it is here to stay. I have not called my parents in about 2 days. I feel bad. Im gonna call them tomorrow. Just haven't been feeling up t answering the phone. The creative juices are flowing and Im ready to start back on my drawing journey again. Sorry no fashion is up today. I was sketching on my free time, trying to keep the creative wheels turning. Long day, but its almost over. I really got influenced by this sculpture. I'll post which exact sculpture once I actually FINISH this project. I tend to never finish anything anymore. I showed Rose the sculpture and she told me to go for it, so I will. My friend Jackie would know the sculpture Im sure. I swear statues back then had the best poses and bodies ever. Sometimes I wish I could hire a nudist to come pose for me.
I wish..

Greg at the movies Saturday, he can't wait for Fast & Furious to come out.

So I like I said, I started drawing again. The very last time I actually drew something from my heart was a few months back. Not too far back. Maybe the beginning of February. I remember being afraid to post it because of my fear and worries about being so vulnerable. But the best thing about art is, you can have a code for everything. I do not know why I did not post this given the fact this picture has a lot of hidden secrets and mysteries. I of course never finished it. Because I still had doubts and worries in my life. Now that I feel perfectly fine about my life and where its headed, I feel free to show you guys. This is not going on Facebook or Twitter. It lies here, and only here.

Check It Out:
unfinished, as always...

I have a thing with Owls lately. He is holding the word Worried and Fear. If you look above the Owl, very closely you can see fallopian tubes and a baby footprint...

So much is going on I know. If you noticed, everything has locks and key holes. For me it all represents "uncertainty" and not being able to know what to "open". Lotus flowers to represent buddha teachings I have learned, representing calmness.

For me this is the deepest part of the picture. Its me (an unfinished me) holding a piglet with its fallopian tubes below it. This moves me so much because...
We all have our reasons...
my favorite part is the footprint...
Elephant represents another Buddhist scene. Its me holding the good side of things...which of course I never the time

This should be the most important part of the picture, but its a brain..
Tee hee..
Its a pretty huge picture. I should have finished it. But I guess because now, since I feel a total different way then I have before, I feel there is not point? Maybe? I dunno. I know most of this picture seems disturbing but I still thought it would be nice to share fully. It means a lot to me.

I got this amazing comment the other night from someone Anonymous. I wanted to say thank you for your amazing comment, it made my day and was very touching. No one says sweet things like that to just anybody, and I wanted to take the time out to say you touched me with that super nice comment...
So this picture is for you....thanks for following beautiful....

The Rosie Baby:Final Wig
She is not feeling it. She thinks its way too dark. I like it! I agree its dark for her face. Rose needs color, its just a must. She played with it a lot in the mirror. This would be amazing with highlights I think. Va Voom!

Check out more pics of the final wig:

Art Junk Only:
Everything was inspiring me today, everywhere I turn. I was on Tumblr pulling pictures to draw left and right. Here is my top inspirations today.

Chest Tattoos:
I think I am falling in love with chest tats because its something that fills the whole canvas, nothing is blank on a chest tattoo. Plus I like repetition in a drawing...

I love owls for some damn reason. I notice I own Owl earrings and an Owl shirt. I love them all. Every time I see one I wanna draw now.

Number One Influence:
Skate Decks
I would die a million deaths to do this. Its beautiful. Even though skaters will just scruff it up while doing Tony Hawk tricks. Check out all these amazing skate decks. Who ever does this as a business..go to jealous...

maybe one day..

Celeb Nitez:

nuff said...

Diggy & his Girlfriend:
You know. Because Diggy (from Runs House) is only like 14 or 15, Ima be nice. But, why is it that male rapper girlfriends all look alike? Do they come from the same uterus? They all look like re-incarnated doll babies. Diggy is like 16 maybe...and he has a 15 year old Kim Kardashian. Where do you guys find these chicks? Venus? She looks like a"rapper girlfriend" in training. Look at her! Big weave, fair skin, thick lips....kiss my ass...
I cant...
By the way, his fathers a reverend...hope he knows his son is fucking.

LOve Ya'LL And GooDNigHt!

Monday, March 28, 2011

A Combination Of Roses and Silk: Print Crazy

Hola peoples!
Great weekend. Don't ask me about Suckerpunch, please. I just want to move on with my life like it never happened. So, of course I am so obsessed with african prints and design. I also love how people take two different patterns and combine them into an amazing outfit. Love that! Thats what african patterns are, a mixture of color and connection with shapes and patterns. So I took it into my own hands and made put this outfit together.

Not your usual combination but I LOVE IT.
Shirt: Blue Echo
Corset: Torrid
Wide Leg Slacks: Torrid
Earrings: Stolen From Rose P.

Greg came home for a meet and greet...

By the way! Over the weekend I took my Macbook to the Apple store because my Imovie was fucked. Im am so use to editing my videos and have not been able to do so lately. I went in there and they wiped out my baby and made her all better. God I love Macs...
Theres my baby love getting worked on...
(and her Betsey Johnson carrier...)
Marshalls for 14.99

Here is the whole look:

Love him.

Curly Sue Short Dew: Rosie (B.F.F) Baby!

UPDATE: So last week I stated Rose got her wigs in the mail. And wozers! She looked sexy and amazing. Most of you guys agreed. Rose did go out out on her date (Olive Garden) but she did not where her hair. Yes, I said it, the broad did not wear her damn hair. She did look nice and I will post her look this week. But she did not wear her hair. She had a good time with her boy toy and they had the discussion of the new look for the age of"26". Pretty much, making a move to look a tad bit older, a "make over" for getting older and looking more mature. Rose finally agrees to go Amber Red on her 26 birthday! YAY!
Whats gonna be your new look when you turn 21, or 25, or even 30?

(picture below, Rose with clip on extensions)

Here is Rose with her Curly lulu wig:
Hot bitch..
she does say that its a little small for her head...
Lulu Harlem 1b/27

love it..
I have a feeling she is not gonna rock this one out as well...
that ding dong.

Funky Fashion Broad Of The Week:
Solange Knowles
Not a huge fan of her music or whatever she does, but her look is too die for. Im sure by you just looking at her style u can see why I love it. Plus she is one of those girls who shaved her hair off and got stylish real quick...
THANK GOD she became herself and out of her sisters cliche look...
(whomp whomp look)


My Jealousy Board:
Things I want and jealous people have least I'm honest? Right?

Africa Earrings:
Where the fuck are these???? Seems everyone is having look finding these but me!

Hello Kitty Shades:
Not only can not I not wear them, but I have not seen these anywhere (D.V this one is for you!)

Bad Ass Colored Locs:
Her hair makes me wanna cry, I do not know who she is, just saw her on Tumblr looking epic. What the fuck. I would die to do this look...*sigh*

Yellow Converse:
I really want to own a pair. I love owning shoes I can wear anything with. I think i have a funky fetish for yellow..gahhh!

The Big Bow:
Its sexy, tacky, and I want a huge giant bow just for my hair....

Kelly O looking smashing as always....

she kills me...

Since I got my Imovie back in shape, I got to put together footage of me and my Bestie that was pretty funny. Its so the depth of our relationship...
Press Play If Bored...

Until Then Chow!