Sunday, April 4, 2010

No Fashion Here This Morning, Just Life.

I looked at the calendar today. It felt like my eyes and mind where playing a cruel game on me. Because honestly thats what it felt like. I sit here in a little bit of awe. I look around my room realizing that I need to start packing clothes. Is the time really here? It can't be. 8 months is a long time. It cant be up now. I sit here half awake realizing I have to see a ton of people before I leave and I have to cram it in two measly weeks. So much to now, in so little time. I am sure I explained this before. But I feel such a strangeness in a way. When my husband went to Bootcamp, it was strange. The very last weeks that I knew I was going to see him I was very antsy, short, depressed, and acting like a mental patient. It was strange. I was always backwards with emotions about distance. When the distance starts your suppose to cry and feel blue that the person is not there. Then when times gets closer you get happier. See I do not do that. I am the total opposite. When the distance starts I do not cry, I am fine. But when time gets closer and closer, I miss the person so much. I start to get antsy and depressed and don't want to look at couples. Strange Right?
So I feel differently. In the start of March, I cried a lot. I missed him. I sobbed to all my friends, and I sobbed on this blog as well. Anyway. I just feel it is weird I have no emotion yet. Maybe I got it all out? Maybe it has not hit yet I am about to see him. We email each other everyday. He told me he is mega excited. I am as well. But at the same time it feels like I am not leaving anywhere.
Weekend was ... Interesting.
I just typed three long paragraphs and just deleted it all. On purpose. I was saying to much I feel. "She" would read it for her psycho and I am not down with that.. I am mad I have to do that, but hey, I am mad I ever met the douche lord.
Happy Easter


  1. Don't censor yourself on your own blog for some fool! Block the "douche lord" (lol at that name, I'm going to steal that), and get your emotions out.

  2. Jus because you said that I wont. Thank you. I mean really. Your message means alot. Thank you. I love expressing myself. And the fact I know someone awesome like u reads this makes me know I shouldnt care. I am gonna learn how to block them. Beacause I really do not like them. Thank u so much. U made my day with this one comment. And yes, douche lord is an awesome word....steal!!! :)