Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It Only Hurts When I Breathe...

Greg just came into California. I am so happy. Yet. I feel like I am in this huge circus in my head. I am such a looney bin. Not a looney bin as in I am a crazy person who stalks people all day and will die single and be alone for the rest of my life because I have a horrible out-look on life, the looney as in paranoid. I am watching Glee right now. I can not believe that this will be the last time I will see this with Rose on east coast time. I am ready to go home. But at the same time. I feel I am not good enough, or I feel he won't be...

Here I go again. Doubting myself. My face seems like its getting worst but, I don't know. I am not sure if its all in my head or not.

I am freezing right now.

I lost the remote to my room so now I can't be lazy...

Gosh. I wish I was not such a paranoid person. But after living back with my mom I see where I get it from. She is the same way. She freaks out about dumb shit. She is one of those people who does not know her problems. Thats the only difference about us. I admit my issues. Maybe because I am cool about them. All my flaws. I know Im spoiled. But I like it. I know I am a drama queen, I like that about myself as well....the only thing I do not like is the fact I worry so much. I think I have anxiety issues. Or maybe all this is me excited to see my husband after 8 months. He says its 7 but no it is 8.

I need to breathe. I have to breathe. Take a breather. Well anyway. Here is something I will share with people who actually give a fuck about my life. Heres an email from Greg I just got about an hour ago. Normally I would not do this but, I feel whoever reads this must wanna sneak peak...so why not. So here is email I got from Greg. Enjoy.

Hey love sorry for the long ass title but tomorrow Is the day we get off
this piece of shit. Im happy as hell right now. All we gotta do is go to
sleep and then wake up and start kickin muthafuckers off the boat.
Including me. Now they talking bout time changing till a later time
cause of a storm that passed by. So now instead of kicking people off at
like 6 in the morning they talking bout like 9 in the morning now. So
yeah that's whats ive been hearing. Hopefully it aint true but we will
see. For us we gots 2 days and a wake up till WE see each other again.
This is gonna be one of the best that ever happened to us. 7 months is
the longest we've ever been without each other. I cant wait, ah I cant
wait, ah cant wait. :):):):):):):). I hope that your ok over there. Hang
on for 2 days and it will be over with. The wait is done. Tomorrow ima
call you and let you know if im off or not. I hope that we are close
enough to use our cell phone though. That would be great. Ok sexy im
gonna go to sleep so this night is over with already. I love you and I
will be seeing yo beautiful ass In 2 days and a wake up k sexy. Mwhaa.

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