Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Right In The Middle Of It All

So yeah, its January 19th. If you don't count this week there is only one more week of January. Then it will be February. Time I guess is going slow. And at times it is going fast. I found out sunday night that Greg will not be coming home on April 18th, but on April 8th! Im super stoked! Because I won't have to wait to get to the middle of the month to see him. Time is winding down slowly but surely. February should fly because it is a short month. And Rose and Britney and I are going to New York around that time, maybe the 20th. We also are going to have a Fuck Valentines Day party. So that should make it fly. Unless someone gets in a relationship....
I know I am selfish. But I need my friends more then anything these days. But I don't want to deprive them from there lives. They live here, I do not. I mean I get it, but at the same time I feel scared and paranoid that they will get busy and leave me behind. To be honest it almost happened. Not a good feeling. I feel selfish, and I feel bad for feeling that way. Its not fair t my friends. I think I need to look on my wrist and read what I tatted on my body. Let It Be. I seem to never live by this quote that means to say "fuck it, so what..". Letting it be is hard for me. Very hard.

This week is pretty hectic. I've been the middle voice for my best friends ex boyfriend and my best friend. I have to admit its been draining. But I see them coming together regardless. Everyone is entitled to happiness. Even me.
If I'd let it.

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