Sunday, January 31, 2010

Its February: Tragic Kingdom

I made it. I can not believe today is actually February 1st. I can not even believe it. Time flies right. Wow. Where do I even begin. Well. It snowed yesterday. It was like this huge snow shit all over the place. This weekend was actually horrible for me. I mean horrible. I was laced with envy this whole time. And also that lovely heroin that runs through my brain called Jealousy. I hate that word. Because it is so blunt. And it means that you are very insecure and fragile. But I was full with it this weekend. Couples make me sick. Yeah, I know...I am married, why should couples make me sick. Maybe because I have not even had a decent hug or kiss from my husband in almost a year it seems. It is a horrible way to be. I would be lying if I did not feel that way. Then on Sunday I had this huge anxiety attack. I was crying, emotionally going crazy, I also took sleeping pills to help myself stop from being a hot mess. Rose stopped by and I could tell from her visit she was worried about me I guess. It was unannounced which is so not her, yet I was so happy to see her. Very happy to see her.
Now I am up at 3:00 am. I am happy it is finally February. I have 2 months left till I am gone. I wanna leave so bad. Well, I wanna be with him so bad. I was hoping this blog would not turn into a huge diary. But in a away it is, and its my life. I guess blogs are like that.
So Blogger fucked up all the videos on my page. Which I am honestly pissed off about. Because now I have to go through Youtube to put anything on. Which is so sucky. And dumb! But whatever. Youtube is so open. I feel uploading your video on Blogger was more personal. Does not matter anyway. I hope they change it though. I want a Big Gulp right now...
So anyway, Ima end it here. Im cold and want to fall back asleep. Its February. And that means this tragic kingdom is about to fall. And soon I'll be happier, again.
"Isnt Kelly Osbourne the shit?!"

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