Saturday, January 30, 2010

On A Lawn Chair, Waiting For An Eclipse

Blogger is pissing me off. For some reason videos are just not working at all right now. It says please try again later. Its not just me though, other people are having the same problem. I hope this freaking changes. Because videos are the best way to get my feelings out, plus I wanna be ble to look back at my time here in Maryland. Good thing I never deleted all my videos. But It would be nice to watch them when I want too. What the fuck Blogger?! Fix that shit!

Anyway Its the last day of January.

Actually, right now. Even at 2:43 this morning. I feel Im in a good place. Im a place where I am safe. A place I do not care much. I feel like Im just on lawn chair, waiting for an eclipse. Calm and waiting. Not pacing and not excited. Just waiting calm in my chair.
Thinking. Deciding. Waiting.

Im in a strange place. But a good one.

I have two months left. Till Im back in California. With the one person who makes me happy. No one makes me really happy but him. I worry. I worry alot. I worry about wild thing. I hope for wild thing. This is what I mean about being in a strange place. I don't understand myself right now. Maybe I am nit suppose too.
Im watch Halloween H20 and it is so fake and lame was this movie....

Sorry...getting side tracked.

Im in a weird place. But something I realized today...was this.......

"I dont make deadlines in my life, i never planned marriage, having kids, or even leaving maryland, i only make deadlines for bullshit that needs to stop." Tia

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