Saturday. The 20th. Of beautiful February. Im learning very well how to spell these months since Im pretty much counting down. Well, I got my doctor appointment out the way. Getting things that need to be done done. I was suppose to hang out with Rose yesterday but my head went ape shit and my mouth started hurting as well. I actually went to be at 5. Woke up at 2 then drugged myself all over again just to wake up at 8. Now I am craving Waffles and I can get any because everyone and there mom is asleep. Im just up. I should have went out yesterday. I do not know. I do not know how I am feeling. A little pissed off and a little anxious to get the fuck out of Maryland.
I find myself daydreaming of California again. I see the places in my head. I see Pirates Cove, I see interstate 5, I see him. It all seems like a dream. Me living in California with my husband. It seems like it never happened. Maybe because Im here with my family and I am hanging out with Rose again, like I never left. So I guess when I remember California it is almost a little bit of a high. Because I know that It was once a reality. And it feels good, and I catch myself smiling. As for Greg. I feel nervous almost. They guy I have been with for almost 8 years Im scared of seeing him. I feel almost shy. Imagining me going toward him and saying hey even scares me.
Im buying my ticket tomorrow off Expedia. I can not believe that this is it. I will have 1 month till I see him. Wow. Its like the time flew by but yet it didn't. Getting an email from him makes me remember I don't reside here anymore. I find myself reading his emails twice in one day. I can not wait to be with him again. You have no idea. I guess in order to make this month go by fast I should not pay attention to the dates and keep myself busy, but who am I kidding?