Sunday, February 28, 2010

Fuck Distance. Be Here Now. The Start of A Finished Story

Funny, Because I was saving this picture for a moment just like this.
So I got an email today from Greg. Which is funny because I see his Mom today around one. I got two emails. One that was awesome and one that sucked. His good email was about his presentation that he had that went well. The other was his date for coming back April 9th has been pushed back. So now I have to wait and see him until the 19th of April. I. Am. Blown. Im upset but in a strange way. My brain is fine. Im thinking rational. The sad feeling is coming from my heart. Its strange because I feel it that way. My chest hurts. Not pain but I feel a weight over my chest. Its a odd feeling. Almost like being sleepy. Tomorrow is March. But now it feels like that does not even matter. Because I have the rest of April to think about. I am surprized yet not surprized. I already bought my ticket for the tenth. I have to call expedia for a later damn date. But I feel maybe I should not until I know for sure when he can pick me up. Because look at me now, I went ahead and bought the tickets and now I have to change them, again. Today sucks fucking ass.
I ran up my dads phone bill. I feel like shit that I did that if anything. Rose is trying her hardest to cheer me up.But just the thought of being here even longer makes me sick. Yet, living here has not been bad at all. It went fast. But i think the bottom line is I am ready to see my husband. I really am. I am ready to be in his arms again. Im trying to look at the goods in this whole thing. But for some reason it all just fades back to negative. I cant even force myself to smile. I feel very upset. Very. I so do not wanna change my flight and call Expedia. I am nervous now because then I have to change a date thats not even confirmed. What the hell. I mean. It could be worst I know. I just miss him. Thats all. Im tired of dreaming about him. Im ready to be with him.
I dont know how many people read this blog of mine. But, I am going to try and post more fashion on this blog. I need March to end quickly. When it crushes me to know that by tomorrow, its just beginning.

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