Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years Alone but Stoned...

So Im home. It is New Years eve and it doesn't really bother me that I am going to be alone this year. Well, this New Year. I have my family, I have my friends, but of course I am missing my one and only. Its hard. But today I had a stroke of happiness. I was in the back seat of my dads car while we all as a family drove to Borders. I was smiling to myself. Listening to music. I was happy. Maybe I am finding happiness here without being happy. I do not know. But I was happy for a minute and It was worth it.

So I am home now. my mom is watching how I eat alot. I told her I was on this massive diet. I feel horrible for lying to her. But I can tell it makes her happy. It is one of those thing when you see a friend in a hospital and they look horrible...but you tell them they look amazing. It is to help them, or hell, help yourself. Whatever gets you by. I am thinking about Greg a lot. What he is doing. How he is doing. What he is gonna do for New Years. I think about how me and him would just buy some cider and just watch t.v. I think about that. It makes me a bit sad but. Soon today will be over, and the only hump I will have next is Valentines Day.

And here I am. It is the last month of December. Tommorow will be January 1st 2010. April here I come. I belive April 18th is going to be one of the most happiest days of my life. When I am with him again.

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