Cries From Wonderland

Its five in the morning. And Im thinking about things that do not matter. A number. I am thinking about selfishness when people are in other countries dying or have no homes. Problems. I think some people in America have no clue what problems are. So I woke up at 4:30. I walk into my kitchen. Something smells weird. Its the trash. It needs to go out. I sit down by the computer. Which is near the kitchen. I go on blogger of course. Look for comments. Read peoples opinions. Look at the hits I have which more then then comments. It makes me smile. I like how a lot of people come by my blog to have visual candy sometimes. Im glad there is some parts of me that is interesting to people. I remember wondering whether to make this a diary or a fashion blog. It turned into both. Many times I thought about deleting it, but did not want to lose the cool people I meant along the way. And all the videos I created while being separated from Greg while he was on deployment. Stored away by date. This is not only a blog, but a time capsule. Of moments with friends, family, people I loved, people who left...

I went on a very familiar blog. I Bleed Fashion. I scrolled down. This girl is beautiful. She is asian, tiny and has a face of a baby doll. Perfection to any race or kind. Dark black hair, killer body and Gucci shoes that make you want to cry. She is the whole package and can afford Jimmy Choo, Gucci, Alexander Wang and McQueen. Yet her blog spoke a different tune. She expressed she was unhappy. She was confused with life. She blamed herself for setting dates. Lost in the fact she did not love fashion as much anymore. Lost in who she was. Now, looking at her she looks as if her life is perfect. But it is not. She posted a video... about being "Alone".

The video changed my life, this very moment...

Feel free to watch.

She also has a book called "1000 Awesome Things" which I will be purchasing today. About the little things that can make you happy. Like snowy days, the smell of a bakery, laughing so hard till you cry.....the lights dimming in the theater. The title of one of her post on her blog was "If Your Heart Bleeds Make The Best Of It". I figure someone has broke her heart. I started thinking of the little thing that make me happy. I seem to ignore it all. At least I have been ignoring all of it. Here are my small, but....yet, happy things...I enjoy in my life.

#1 When he goes to sleep before me, he does not say goodnight, he says feel you in there.

#2 The smell when I make a wish from blowing out my candles. Hoping it went through.

#3 Drawing something that looks amazing

#4 When two people you love the most are also best friends

#5 When some says they missed you

#6 Reconnecting with a friend

#7 When someone cooks for me:)

#8 ...*sigh*....Karaoke nights

Hands down Im getting this book today. I will explore my opinions more. I easily get lost. If it was not for her blog, who knows. As cliche as it sounds..It changed my perception of life. As it is.

http://www.bleedforfashion.com/

Songs Listened To The Morning:

1.) Uncertainty by The Fray

2.) Enough for Now by The Fray

3.) Fair Fight by The Fray

4. Happiness by The Fray

Im downloading the Fray all day today.

This post is dedicated to her.

Lilly

thank you.