Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Epiphany: A Rant, A Want, And A Time For Thickemz



I think. A lot.
I think about people. Family. Friends. My past and present, sometimes my future. I think about who people work. How psychologically peoples brains tick.
I think jealousy is the root of evil. Its a shade we all can become from time to time, its a normal color. Yet, its a color I really fucking hate. Im one of those people, or shall I say women who do not hold jealousy in a negative light. I embrace it. I am big on embracing faults and negative thoughts. Im that chick who sees a nice pair of shoes on another chick and say "Omg, those are so hot! So jealous!" But I would Never..Ever...hold a grudge or an in issue towards anyone if I had some type of jealousy inside of me. Even if it had to deal with someone getting something I always wanted for myself, like a masters degree in art. I would Never be an asshole to that person just because I did not get what they had, its not in my system to do that. But for other people, they spread jealousy on thick and pretend it does not exist. People think jealousy is this hidden cloak when its bright red and easy to spot.

Why can't people just be happy for others. And why do I always get these terrible people in my life? I do. I always meet the same people. Ever since I could talk and speak english I meet the same exact sculpture of people. Who treat me like crap.

Im very loyal and very sweet. Many people use me as their crutch and I am ALWAYS there for them but when I need them in my life they throw me to the ground. When I need good talks and advice I am shunned and talked about behind my back. And I Know this. When I am successful with something, they will say "ohh, good for you". But when "they" are good in something I go all out and get balloons and cards and wish them all my happiness. People get my all and I get nothing from people. To be so extra and nice to people, its just in my nature. Im a warm hearted person. And warm hearted people always get the end of the stick. I want people to be excited for me. I want people to show me emotion and support. I want the same treatment I give to people, to be given to me. Is that wrong? Unfortunately, even if I know a person is going to be rude towards me, I am still good to them and make sure Im happy and excited for their needs and successes. Why do I do that when it make me so unhappy. Why cant people be like that, for me?

For example, I could get a brand new car today. A nice one. Lets say...a very nice sports car that I won in a contest on the radio. I can have this amazing car and people could tell me "Oh wow, thats good for you" or "Oh..alright, anyway.." and go on about their own day. LET THEM WIN a GOD DAMN SPORTS CAR! They will tell me and Im suppose to be like "OMG! YOUR SO LUCKY! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAY! How amazing! You needed this!"
GAGAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Your suppose to get great support from others while..I.GET.NOTHING.
WHY THE FUCK DONT PEOPLE GET EXCITED FOR FUCKING ME!
This shit makes my blood fucking boil because this is sooooo how life is for meeeee!



Thats why I feel like the stars aligned for Greg to meet me, and me to meet Greg. He is very pure. Sadly, the stress I get from these people get pushed on him...
This subject
makes me very sad...



Sorry for the rant. But this blog is my diary as well. I just don't care who reads it. Sometimes a girl just has to express herself or she will pop. Anywho...

I thought I would show my want list, just a few of my favorite things I would love to buy.
Check Them Out:

Sweet Military shoes..these are more Rose I think...
a cute bathing suit...ekk!

Im still looking for Africa earrings....*sigh* no luck you guys..

Tribal print sun dress, would be perfect, even though my boobs would not let me win...

Love this...but its like 35 dollars...ekk!

I would rock these like a mutherfucker, I would fly pass...

African printed Oxfords...so out of my league, should not be on this list...

A baby doll dress. I always wanted one but I hardly see these anymore...
Omg...when I get paid...
Sorry..not fashion, but its an orgasm for my fuckin mouth...

baby doll sweater, I love pastel easter colors...very Tokyo...
I saw these at Torrid it did not buy them, FUCK!

this is so Rose....

I love the first pair of shades, if I was not so damn blind, I would rock them so hard...

tribal bathing suit

Hello Kitty Shoes of any kind...need to be on me...
Hot colored blazer! I need one!

Olive Oxfords, basically, just gimmie a pair of Oxfords and Im happy....

A Support Japan shirt, I can't find where to get one where all the proceeds go to Japan...

A Time Of The Thickemz

I said about a week ago that I was going to post more street fashion of woman who are my size. Mainly because, there are no plus size famous woman besides Beth Ditto and ...and....
Exactly...
So lets take it to the street...



I found this bad ass on Tumblr with a fashion blog who looks so flawless to me. Check her out if you would like. She is so hawt and awesome looking and is SUPER comfy with her body. These people should be envied. Lets be honest. I love people who love their body. I bow to them like Gods.

Check Out GISELA
from What Gisela Wore
whatgiselawore.tumblr.com




Amazing..


I feel kinda off today. Given the rant and the fact I rolled with the mexicanas last night. Way past my bed time. I feel like Im having a hang over...
I hope to feel better...Ughh

The best thing about this blog is that, the people, are the best....
its sad because I hardly know everyone, yet their the nicest..
How ironic.



5 comments:

  1. Sometimes we get tired of doing good sweetie but don't let others change who you are. You are nice and kind and thoughtful because that is who YOU are. You can't expect everyone to be like you. I know some things seem like they should just be..like I support you...you support me but some of us are givers while others are takers. You are a giver. Accept that and roll with it girl. It is a beautiful gift! I know that it is painful to always give and never receive but you have Rose and you have Greg in your life and they are there for you honey because although you are making an impact on others. When you are gone they will realize just how good a friend you were! Don't quit being you honey. I love all of the tribal stuff...beautiful! Kiah

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  2. Sometime we need to vent. There nothing wrong with that. I so want a bright color blazer too.

    http://amyfashionblog52.blogspot.com/

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  3. Women in general are prone to strange amounts of hater behavior. I never figured out why, perhaps because that is how magazines and television market things towards women, and it's ingrained in them.
    "You want to be this, you want to buy this"
    "You'll never look as good as her if you don't buy this."
    "She's better than you because she has this."
    I suspect that it has driven most women insane if not openly, then subconsciously.

    By the way, I'm trying my hand a Jewlery making. Want me to make you some Africa earrings? I'm playing with a bead kit among other little bits and bobs. Shoot a FB message if you want.

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  4. Oh wow, I CAN SO RELATE!!! I tell the boy all the time, I am just a nice person, but I feel like people will quickly take my kindess but not show me the same respect. I don't want to change who I am, because I like being nice, I like being kind, but sometimes not getting it back can hold heavy on the heart.

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  5. Where can I find this swim suit tho!?!?!

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