I think way too much. I hate it. I want to do what other people do, which is take one day at a time. I want to not always look into the future. I want to relax and enjoy the ride. You know what my problem is? I expect life to go a certain way. I expect things to happen good all the time. I expect so much from nothing that its actually sad and pathetic. I got the tattoo Let It Be 0n my wrist to remind myself "its okay". I seem to never look at it. Ot I over think and knock it because whatever I am feeling is more important to myself. I think we all have something about ourselves that we can not stand. Its normal.
I want to have a relaxing day today. No school at all today and I was given no homework. I am going to take advantage of that this weekend.
My brain is so against me it seems. I can't just shut thoughts off. Or maybe that everybody at some point and time. I think today I am going to draw. Finally. I keep falling off the band wagon. I know I want to get my dad his birthday gift this weekend. I just need and want to stay positive. I read some of that 1000 awesome things website just to lighten my day up. It worked. Its so free and open. I love it.
So my birthday is Sunday. Its cool. I am happy. I am going to be 25. Im pretty happy about it. I would love to go to the sushi bar but, no, not this time. I think I want to stay home. Cuddle up to Greg and watch the VMA's. An award show I never miss and never have missed. That is what I want. My parents sent me some mula. What to do with it? I have no clue, its a nice BIG chunk of money. Torrid maybe?
Overall my life so far is full. I love everything about it. I worry about things I have no control over and I think I have to just accept that about myself. Thats not going anywhere. What I can do is just try to live life by the day. Enjoy what I have. Enjoy everything about right now, this moment. Its hard when your a negative person at heart. Its hard to break out of that dark shell.
Maybe I will one day...
So one of my girls from Math class had the nerve to walk in with this freaking shirt on. Did we bond or what? I think you can guess...lol!