Im Doing Me: Im Living Life Right Now Man

The soothing sounds of Drake. You know..the rapper guy. I am not a huge rap fan but Drake is freaking awesome. He has this new song called "Over". And I literally have been listening to the song over and over. It is such a fuck you song. Pretty much a song about being famous, but I churned it to fit my persona of course. Just a reminder that if I ever asked myself what I am doing, I have realize that I am doing me, and I am living my own way. Whether people like it or not.

So this is my average everyday outfit. putting on all black and a funky vest is always stylish without trying to be stylish.

Very normal and everyday look I usually wear. Very realistic. You won't catch me wearing pumps all day everyday, maybe even never at all...

Here I am wearing an all black Old Navy tee shirt. All black Torrid leggings. Nine West all black boots. The vest which is a washed out jean gray was from Torrid on clearance. It was like 24 dollars so I had to get it. Very relaxed look.
The bag is something I have not even popped the tag off yet. Its from Wilsons Leather and I bought it for school this semester. Looks like it will be used for this Fall instead. Moving from state to state and living different places for months at a time takes its tole. Classes become non existent. Homework becomes an headache. So going back to school will have to be this fall. I guess. Any who, its all leather and a very nice bag. I dig it.




So back to real life:

• Went and got the hubbys oil change yesterday and went across the street to price tattoos. Greg might get this real awesome tribal tat. And he might get another as well...I think he should go for it.

• We went to the beach yesterday. Just to be there. You know...this is off subject but have ever looked on facebook at peoples profile just to see how there life is going. Anyone, whether its a friend, a family member, a classmate...do you ever just go on their page to see how there shit is going? Well, I did yesterday. It was a guy I looked up. I know him from.....well.....I guess I will just say school. So I went on his facebook and saw that this guy is lonely. He is a great guy. Good looking, great personality. He lives with good people...its just that...I don't know? Have you ever looked at a picture of someone smiling when you know in the picture they are really sad? I felt that for him, and he is such a good looking and smart guy. I felt bad for him. You can tell he is going to be alone for a long time...which is kind of depressing. And don't get me wrong...I like the guy and have no vendetta against him. But have ever just looked at someone and can tell there just going to live the single life forever and they don't ever know it? I see that with that guy.....poor dude...he has not a clue.

• Anywho! Hope you like the fashions. I have been doing a lot of thinking about life and marriage. I think a lot about love these days and family. I think I am just growing up more and more and seeing things totally different as life drags by. I assume thats normal.

The Open Door: Me & The Movements

Since living on my own I am afraid to look in the mail box. The thing is that I am not in debt nor do I have a lot of bills. It is the fact there is always something in the mail that I have to pay for. Shit that just shows up and says "Hey! Pay us some money. Okay?" Half the stuff be random and half the stuff be accurate. I hate going to the mail box. I hate it. Greg is so relaxed he does not care. He figures since we have the money its okay. It is still bullshit. I think he gets nervous about the mailbox as well.

Either way, I am going to the beach today. Just to get away and maybe have some lunch on the board work. I think I am going to be a worrier for the rest of my life. And I am just going to have to accept it. There is no book, show, or chicken soup that can cure me. I am such a lost cause.

Here is my outfit for the day. It is pretty regular and has no real kick to it but I love my Steve Maddens and thought it would be cool to show them. I got them for 12 dollars. Pretty sweet given the fact is was 50.
Greg is still off from work. We have been having fun. We watch movies every night. I think we go out to eat a little to much. But Greg is right, we are okay in the bank and I need to stop spazing so much. I am such a spaz.



Scarf is from Forever 21. The shoes are from DSW, a shoe warehouse. Top is from Torrid of course. And the capri pants are from Marshalls by Union Bay. Necklace from New York & Co.
While watching t.v and catching up on what going on in the world, there is a lot of stuff I like and a lot of stuff that I think is pretty dumb. Most stuff I like, maybe some stuff I find dumb but not a lot. Here is my list of movements going on.

• The Barbie Movement

I do not like the Barbie Movement. Now, if you ask me do I like Nicki Minaj the answer is yes! I am in love with her. But as for the whole "Im a Barbie" I think it is..I don't know, I think its a reason for people to pretend to be different. All the stuff I was into when I was 18 that was weird is now cool because Nicki Minaj does it. I got so many weird looks when I was 18 and rocking purple hair. Now every chick got pink hair like Nicki Minaj and now its "okay". WTF..?! Whatever, I guess I am emotional scared from my past. LOL! Cute shirt though right?

• Christina Aguilera Being Lady Gaga Movement *side eye*

People get really pissed if you compare the two. I do not care how long Christina was out, she is biting the shit out of Lady Gaga. Now she is all up on a girls crotch like she is gay or some shit. Christina please! Your a swagger jacker! I can not stand her now. I watched some of her new video and had to turn it off. Christina becomes Lady Gaga like a mother fucker! I dis-like the Christina video and I think she can sing well enough without trying to slut it out all the damn time...*she is weak*

Look at this picture from the video! Are you kidding me?!?! Raise your kid hoe bag and get out that womans crotch! What an attention whore!

• Graffiti Movement

I am going to find a new book on Graffiti. I own two. I want to try it actually. I want to try my artistic expression with graffiti. Seems fun. My fav Graffiti artists are Fafi and Miss Van. Of course all women. You guys should check them out if your into art like I am. How cool is the cat from Alice. Gosh I wish I would find a wall around here and just go crazy..

• The Glee Movement

I am down with the Glee movement. I am surprized I like it so much. I always did like musicals. Comes on tonight as well! Yay! I love it! Rose (BFF) and I love it. We sat in my room and watched the whole season of Glee for hours. We eventually stopped and watched the rest during the weekend.

Ummm...

This is not a movement.....

.......

but...

I just thought...the cheesecake looks good...

Its Cookie Dough Cheese Cake..

Orgasm for the mouth...

*jizz!*

Christian & Kirsten: Double My Trouble

I have a weird attraction to Kirsten Stewart. I know I am a Twilight whore so it might be by default. But over the times of the first movie of Twilight she has become more and more appealing. I hate her ass in interviews and I hate the fact she acts so awkward all the damn time when she is knee deep in Pattinson penis. Either way, I think she is becoming more and more sexy and into her own. She is such a tomb boy but these days she looks more and more like a young woman. Greg said he would pound Kirsten and he does not even like skinny girls like that. There is something about her. She has a certain swag about her. I love it.Im falling for her. She looks more and more prettier everyday.

I have a small girl crush on Kirsten, but I have a real crush on her boyfriend Rob...you guys are not fooling anyone, certainly not me..
Then there is Christian Siriano. I watch Project Runway all the time. He of course was mine and everybody elses favorite. I love overly gay men. I think they are to die for! I would love to hang out with him, I bet he is a riot. Any who, since Project Runway he has been booming all around fashion week and all up in Paris with his line of clothes. I had no clue that he put out shoes as well..

Check these out!

Umm ... Okay... I do not think he made these shoes. I think I saw these on a website and but them in my folder to blog about, I am not sure if he did these...I have no clue, but the rest of the shoes below is his..

Mod The Bod:Thoughts About Bodies

I was watching The Price Of Beauty. It is the show with Jessica Simpson. It was actually a really good show. I got teary eyed a lot. I believe Jessica out did herself with this show. It was actually very good. This show was super powerful. I know the ratings for her show was not good at all. It is wild when I see beautiful woman, just like Jessica Simpson who have insecurities. Jessica said that she had weight issues all her life. Jessica interviewed some high school girls in L.A. and all of them felt they were way to big, when all of them were at least a size 6 or 7. That blows me away. If they think they are fat, what the fuck do they think I am? Obese?

I went to the doctor today because my period is out of wack. I got it all solved, and I am fine and as healthy as a horse. But when I got on the scale it blew me away...I had no clue how big I was. I am pretty big. I sometimes feel like I have the reverse thing with anorexia. I do not feel that I look that big. Then again maybe my height is saving me.

I have no clue how I truly feel about my body. I feel sometimes all women big and small have these insecurities. Some days I wake up and I feel beautiful and I feel that I fucking sexy as hell. Then there are times I wake up and I can not believe how big I got. I know why I am the size I am. Its a long story. But I know what happened, my downfall. I have a ugly relationship with food. I am not as bad as I use to be. I calmed down.

Most of my main friends are thick. Brit and Rose are both thick girls. Then there is me. I am bigger then both of them. Then all the rest of my homies are skinny. Holly is tiny. Crystal is tiny. And yes, thats a picture of me feeling up on my white friend Holly. She is crazy hot. I mean, as I look around, especially here in California, this is all I see.

So I have no clue where I stand on my body. All I know is my past. And all I know is that I am happy in my life. I want to learn how to fall in love with myself everyday instead of every other day. I wish I knew if this was normal or not. I am not sure. I look at old pictures of myself sometimes and realize I gained over 50 pounds over the years. I sometimes want to change it but, I love doing what I want too much. I do not believe in restriction. I believe in doing what the fuck I want to do. I believe in going into a diner and ordering an ice cream blondie with carmel wrapped all over it.. Fuck a salad. Goodnight.
Say good night to Rose's ass as well. Thats her at the beach beside my house...Love her...see u in Cali soon baby! wink wink!

Lip Stick & Fuck Me Pumpz

So I just got home. i had a doctor appointment and it went well. I love being home. As in California. It is easy to get away from things. I mean, I get so annoyed with things that go on at home. I get so pissed. Like things back at home, kinda bum me out. I do like the fact I live a billion miles away and I do not have to see and deal with have the shit I think is stupid. Geez, people get on my nervous. I am very blessed right now. The fact I do not have to deal with dumb shit on the daily. Anyway, enough with life...
So I got this cute as tank at Torrid for nine damn dollars. How awesome! I got these Source Of Wisdom pants as well. I know I am on there balls but there brand of jeans fit so well. Bag is from Forever 21 and the shoes are from the Thrift Store. They were only 5 dollars. Nice kicks right?

Okay I have to go, sushi time!

Cant Stop Addicted To The Shin Dig!

I need to stop eating so much. Since I been back to California with the hubbie. I have been going everywhere to eat. We went back to all our favorite eateries and all the places we like to get ice cream. I am so gaining weight I swear. Not only that, I raped Palm Springs California and had P.F Changs for the first time. Greg and I waddled out the damn place! But it was so good. We need to chill. So we went to Cold Stone. I mean, we went everywhere. So we made a deal that we will eat healthy this week. We bought propel water, regular water, and good healthy fruit. I been such a pig lately. Oh well, at least some one is loving this stretched marked ass. I'm glad he thinks I am a hot piece of ass. Oh yes, I am surprized myself. He always wants to smooch on me, he really digs me. It is pretty cool.
So I bought new stuff this weekend. Can I be honest? I am so use to being alone and taking pictures for this blog. Now that I live here with a person, I feel I look weird taking pictures in front of him and posing in mid air. But oh well, I am gonna do it any way. I should be posting my new stuff tomorrow. Sorry for being so side tracked lately. 8 months of not being with Greg was such a headache. Now that I am with him, I am so absent minded.

What else is new with me:

• I been listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers like a crazy person! I forgot how good they are. There music is so California style, so LA.
• I have a shopping problem, and it is a problem..wish I cared more.

• Dita Von Teese goes to the grocery store like this, what a babe

• I wish my ass looked like this. Whats sexier then a big ass and a small waist. She is so ethnic and hot. I wish my body looked like this. I think if my ass looked like this, I would be pregnant. Greg would not be able to take it. He is an ass man.

• I love these boots. SPEAKING OF BOOTS! Where the hell is my damn Ugg boots! I lost one shoe! What the hell...

• Lady Gaga is hot....